try to make me laugh??

Question

ok now.. dont go all pyscho on me saying that this is a silly ques... if you thought it was, you wouldn't have opened it in the first place..

Answer 1

Little Leroy came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.

His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted for his birthday.

"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday."

Little Leroy was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home.

Leroy's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday.

Little Leroy, of course, thought he did. Leroy's mother, being a Christian woman, wanted him to reflect on his behavior over the last year and write a letter to God and tell him why he deserved a bike for his birthday.

Little Leroy stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.



LETTER 1:

Dear God,

I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.

Your friend,

Leroy



Leroy knew this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over.



LETTER 2:

Dear God,

This is your friend Leroy. I have been a pretty good boy this year, and I would like a red bike for my birthday.

Thank you,

Leroy



Leroy knew this wasn't true either. He tore up the letter and started again.



LETTER 3:

Dear God,

I've TRIED to be a good boy this year and I would really like a red bike for my birthday.



Leroy knew he could not send this letter to God either. Leroy was very upset.

He went downstairs and told his mother he wanted to go to church.

Leroy's mother thought her plan had worked because Leroy looked very sad.

"Just be home in time for dinner," his mother said.

Leroy walked down the street to the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was there. He picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary. He slipped it under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into his house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen.



Leroy began to write his letter to God.



LETTER 4:

DEAR GOD, I HAVE YOUR MOTHER.

IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE.

Signed

YOU KNOW WHO

Answer 2

Okay, here's a joke for you that my hairdresser told me:



A blonde walks into the hairdressers wearing earphones. She says that she wants her hair cut, but warns the hairdresser not to take out her earphones. The hairdresser agrees, thinking it's a little strange, but whatever.



So the hairdresser starts to cut the blonde's hair. Eventually the blonde falls asleep in the chair while the hairdresser continues to cut her hair. Finally, he decides that he can't keep cutting around her earphones, so takes them off. By the time he's finished cutting her hair, he tries to wake her up only to find that she's dead. He can't understand what happened and lifts the ear phones to his ear. He hears a voice saying "breath in, breathe out"

Answer 3

There are two dogs. They are laying on a bed. One says to the other, let's have sex, thinking that the other dog was a boy. Ok, says the boy dog, thinking the other dog was a girl. They were both boys. They had sex. What they did was wrong.



Um, don't do drugs or you'll end up like Elvis, in a dirty stinky bathroom dead. Ouch. So um, boogedy boogedy boogedy, boys let's go racing in the tub, YEAHHHHHHH!

Answer 4

Hello,

You can get Zumas Revenge for free from this link: http://bitly.com/1uSHpqA



The aim of the game is to clear all stages inorder to defeat the evil over lord master.In another game mode,you are to clear ten levels with only one life.

Answer 5

Hope you see this as clean!

After having sex, I was so tired that I didn't wash, in the morning doing pee, my penis was blowing up, I thought of a new illness must have struck me, till I realized that the contraceptive was still on.

Answer 6

WEDGIE: The condition of having one's clothing stuck between the buttocks, often from having had one's pants or underwear pulled up as a prank.





now doesnt that just make u wanna laugh.

Answer 7

Who is Rory Emerald? Does that make you laugh?

FUN QUESTION! Hope you feel better...Los Angeles



P. S. Did Jesus look both ways when he crossed the street?

Answer 8

one day a person said to his friend: Tell me a thing in which im not involved.

His Friend replyes: you know dear friend your wife is pregnanat.



One day a child wrote to santa: Dear Santa please send me a sister.

On the very next day the Santa wrote to him ok send me your mother.



Hope u will lough bye take care

Answer 9

i broke my toe by hitting the door, on accident. When the doctor asked what i happen I said my dog bit it so hard it broke....lol?

Answer 10

two fish swim into a concrete wall, one turns to the other and says 'damn'

Answer 11

Read what illi23 said! That made me crack up!

Answer 12

www.edgarsecae.com



defenitly you will laugh :) and because i present this i made your laugh :P



dont forget to pick your best answer :)

Answer 13

I will not try, I WILL!!!



Remember when you were at that party dancing on the tables??? LMAO okay that made me laugh so thanks!!! LOL...

Answer 14

your mom's so fat she saw a bus full of white men and yelled "stop that twinkie!!"

Answer 15

my boyfriend naked



(that always makes me laugh)

Answer 16

BOo!

Answer 17

i don't know, i'm not a funny person.

Answer 18

SPOON

Answer 19

Funny One Liners:



100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

A day without sunshine is like, night.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

All generalizations are false, including this one.

All men are idiots, and I married their King.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Always try to be modest and be proud of it!

Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.

Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

Assassins do it from behind.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Beer: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks

Borrow money from a pessimist, they don't expect it back.

Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!

C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Chocolate: the OTHER major food group.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!

Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ***?

Criminal Lawyer is a redundancy.

Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?

Death is hereditary.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?

Did anyone see my lost carrier?

Diplomacy is the art of saying good doggie while looking for a bigger stick.

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.

Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink.

Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.

Double your drive space. Delete Windows!

Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Energizer Bunny arrested and charged with battery.

Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.

Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

Friends may come and go, but enemies tend to accumulate.

Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.

Genius does what it must, talent does what it can, and you had best do what you're told.

Get a new car for your spouse; it'll be a great trade!

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Honk if you want to see my finger.

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

How does Teflon stick to the pan?

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?

I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

I used to have a handle on life, and then it broke.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.

I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.

I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.

If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

If you get to it and you can't do it, well there you jolly well are, aren't you.

If you haven't much education you must use your brain.

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.

Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.

Join the Army, meet interesting people, and kill them.

Keep honking. I'm reloading.

Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.

Learn from your parents' mistakes: use birth control.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

Montana: At least our cows are sane!

More hay, Trigger? No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!

Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.

My hockey mom can beat up your soccer mom.

My mind is like a steel trap, rusty and illegal in 37 states.

Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.

Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

Never mess up an apology with an excuse.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Oh Lord, give me patience, and GIVE IT TO ME NOW!

Okay, who put a stop payment on my reality check?

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.

Plan to be spontaneous, tomorrow.

Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.

Quickly, I must hurry, for there go my people and I am their leader.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

Remember half the people you know are below average.

Save the whales. Collect the whole set

Save your breath. You'll need it to blow up your date!

Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.

Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.

Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

Support bacteria, they're the only culture some people have.

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Finland. Now Santa Claus is missing.

The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.

The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

The secret of the universe is @*&^^^ NO CARRIER

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.

The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.

The universe is a figment of its own imagination. There's no future in time travel.

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

There's too much blood in my caffeine system.

Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.

Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all of its students.

Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.

Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.

Wanted: Meaningful overnight relationship.

Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?

We were born naked, wet and hungry. Then things got worse.

Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?

What's the speed of dark?

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.

When there's a will, I want to be in it.

When you don't know what you are doing, do it neatly.

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

Who stopped payment on my reality check?

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

You are depriving some poor village of its idiot.

You can do more with a kind word and a gun than with just a kind word.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.

You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!

Your gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.



Funny Fictional Book Titles:



40 Yards to the Latrine by Willy Makeit and Betty Wont

50 years in the saddle by Major Asburn

A Bestiary of Plant Eaters: Herb Avore

A Boxing Cornerman's Story: Dawson DeTowel

A Great Plenty by E. Nuff

A Stitch in Time by Justin Case

A Stuntman To The End: Kenny Doitt

A Trip to the Dentist by Yin Pain

A Whole Lot of Cats by Kitt N. Caboodle

Acrophobia Explained: Alfredo Heights

Advanced Maths by Smart E. Pants

After The Corned Beef And Cabbage: Kay O'Pectate

Ah, Thor!: Ty Till

All Alone: Saul E. Terry

Allegiance To The King: Neil Downe

Almost Missed the Bus by Justin Time

Ambulance Driving: Adam Muhway

Ambush! by May T. Surprise

And Shut Up! by Sid Downe

And the Other People by Allan Sundry

Animal Illnesses by Ann Thrax

Animal Scents: Farrah Mones

April Fool! by Sue Prize

Archery: Beau N. Arrow

Armed Heists by Robin Banks

Artificial Clothing by Polly Ester

Artificial Weightlessness by Andy Gravity

As Solid as...: Rocco Gibraltar

Assault with Battery by Eva Ready

At The Bottom Of The Can: Hazel Nutt

Athletic Supporter: Jacques Strap

Back Row Of The Orchestra: Clara Nett

Bad Cow Jokes: Terry Bull

Bad Falls by Eileen Dover

Bad Gardeners: Wilt Plant

Bad Investment: Les Riches

Banquet at McDonalds: Tommy Ayk

Baseball Tales by Homer

Battle Axes: Tom A. Hawk

Big Fart! by Hugh Jass

Blonde Hair by Bim Bow

Blowout!: Vlad Tire

Body Parts by Anne Atomy

Boring Midwestern Cities: Cole Lumbus

Boy Scout's Handbook: Casey Needzit

Brane Surjery Maid Simpel: Sarah Bellum

Breaking the Law by Kermit A. Krime

Bring to the Grocer's by R. List

Bubbles in the Bathtub by Ivor Windybottom

Cab Calloway's Garden: Heidi Ho

Candle-Vaulting by Jack B. Nimble

Car Capital Of The World: Mitch Egan

Car Repairs: Axel Grease

Care For A Chop?: Marsha Larts

Carpet Fitting: Walter Wall

Caulking Made Easy by Phil McKrevis

Chauvinistic Men by A. Lone

Cheaper than IBM: P.C. Clone

Cheating on His Wife: Izzy Backyet

Chest Pain by I. Coffalot

Chicago Gangs Of The '30's: Tommy Gunn

Chicken Dishes by Nora Drumsticks.

Children's Songbook: Skip Tumalu

Chinese Apathy: Hu Cares

Circle Perimiter: Sir Cumference

Classic Groceries: Chopin Liszt

Cloning by Irma Dubble II

Clothes for Germ Kings by Mike Robes

College Athletics: Nancy Dubblelay

Columbus, Vespucci, And Me: Enzo DiUrth

Come on in! by Doris Open

Computer Memories: Meg Abight

Confessions Of A Gold Digger: Emile Ticket

Cooking Spaghetti by Al Dente

Cosmetology: Rosie Cheeks

Covered Walkways by R. Kade

Crackdown: Lauren Order

Crocodile Dundee by Ali Gator

Cry Wolf by Al Armist

Cut the Grass!: Moses Lawn

Daddy are We There Yet? by Miles Away

Danger! by Luke Out

Dangerous Animals by Mann Eaters

Decorating your Mousehole: Minnie Blinds

Defunct Nations: Sophie Etunion

Desert Crossing by I. Rhoda Camel

Do It Yourself: Tyrone Shoelaces

Don't Do Anything Rash: Jacques Itch

Don't Tread On Me: Amanda B. Reckonwith

Downpour! by Wayne Dwops

Drafted!: Abel Boddeed

Drinking Problems by Al Coholic

Dull Razor: Nick Shaving

East Coast Resorts: Nan Tuckett

East Coast Universities: Cora Nell

Eating Disorders: Anna Rexia

Ecclesiastical Infractions by Cardinal Sin

Employment Handbook: Ernie Living

En Garde!: Drew Blood

Equine Leg Cramps by Charlie Horse

Erotic Adventures by Oliver Klozoff.

Errors and Accidents by Miss Takes and Miss Haps

Events In The Soviet Union: Perry Stroika

Exercise on Wheels by Cy Kling

Exotic Irish Plants by Phil O'Dendron

Explaining it Better: Clara Fie

Exploring The Dutch Frontier: Will Der Ness

Ex-Presidential Retreat: Kenny Bunkport

Fallen Underwear by Lucy Lastic

Falling Trees by Tim Burr

Fastest Gun In The West: Everett DeReady

Fat Lady In The Sideshow: Ellie Funt

Feelings: Cara Lott

Financial Insecurity: Wilma Moneylast

Fingerplay: Jacob Sladder

Fish Story: Rod Enreel

Fixing Computer Programs: Dee Bugger

Flips and Tumbles: Jim Nastics

Flogging in the Army by Corporal Punishment

Foot Coverings: Susan Socks

Foot Problems of Big Lumberjacks by Paul Bunion

Fortune Telling: Crystal Ball

Fred Can Philosophize!: Immanuel Kant

Free Willy by Freda Wale

French Cars: Myra Neault

French Overpopulation by Francis Crowded

Full Moon by Seymour Buns

Gambling by Monty Carlos

Gangway!: Hedda Steam

Gardening With The Ex-President: Rose Bush

Geez, It's Hot!: Mike Hammeldyed

Genie in a Bottle: Grant Wishes

Get Moving! by Sheik Aleg

Get Out There! by Sally Forth

Girl On a Budget: Penny Pincher

Glass Bikini by Seymore Skynn

Go Away!: Ron Onhome

Golly Gosh! by G. Whiz

Gone Fishing: Rod Annette

Gone With The Wind: George Uh

Good Housekeeping by Lottie Dust

Good Steak!: T. Bone

Good Works by Ben Evolent

Grave Mistakes by Paul Bearer

Great Tennis Matches: Davis Skupp

Greek Unbeliever!: Hera Tick

Green Lawn Chairs: Patty O'Furniture

Green Spot on the Wall by Picken & Flicken

Greeting Sheep Strangers: Hugh R. Ewe

Guarding the Door: Sergeant Atarms

Guide To Mixology: Bart Ender

Handel's Messiah by Ollie Luyah

Happy New Year! by Mary Christmas

He Disappeared! by Otto Sight

Head of Security: Barb Dwyer

Held Hostage by Italian Terrorists!: Aldo Anything

Here's Puss In Your Eye: Lance Boyle

Hertz, Don't It?: Lisa Carr

He's Contagious! by Lucas Measles

Hide and Seek by I.C. You

Highway Travel by Dusty Rhodes

Hiya Fella: Gladys Eeya

Hole in the Bed by Mister Completely

Holiday Spots by Sandie Beaches

Hollywood Gossip: Phyllis Zinn

Holmes Does it Again by Scott Linyard

Home Alone IV by Annie Buddyhome

Home of the Liberty Bell: Phil A. Delphia

Hot Dog! by Frank Furter

House Construction by Bill Jerome Holme

House Plants: Clay Potts

Housework: Dustin Cook

How I Won The Marathon: Randy Hoelway

How to Annoy by Aunt Agonize

How To Beat A Murder Rap: Scott Free

How to Break In: Jimmy De Lock

How to Cook a Steak: Porter House

How to Cut Grass: Lon Moore

How to Draw: Ellis Strait

How to Get Rid of Unwanted Guests by Bea O'Problem

How To Make Cornmeal Pancakes: Johnny Cake

How to Make Honey: B.A. Beaman

How to Overcome Stress: R.E. Lachs

How To Prevent Leaks: Titus A. Drum

How to Read a Book: Paige Turner

How to Succeed in School: Rita Book

How to Tour the Prison by Robin Steele

How To Tune Up Your Auto: Carl Humm

Hunger In America: Heywood Jafeedme

Hypnotism by N. Tranced

I Beat Bobby Fischer: Jess Player

I Can Fix It: Jerry Rigg

I Can't See The Difference: Sam Ting

I Didn't Do It! by Ivan Alibi

I Hate Monday Mornings by Gaetan Oop

I Hate the Sun by Gladys Knight

I Hit the Wall by Isadore There

I Like Fish by Ann Chovie

I Like Liquor by Ethyl Alcohol

I Like Weeding Gardens by Manuel Labour

I Lived in Detroit by Helen Earth

I Lost My Balance by Eileen Dover and Paul Down

I Love Bullfighting: Matt Adore

I Love Crowds by Morris Merrier

I Love Fractions by Lois C. Denominator

I Love Mathematics by Adam Up

I Love Wills by Benny Fishery

I Love You!: Alma Hart

I Must Fix the Car! by Otto Doit

I Need Insurance by Justin Case

I Read You Like A Book: Claire Voyant

I Say So! by Frank O. Pinion

I Want to Help: Abel N. Willin

I Was A Cloakroom Attendant by Mahatma Coate

I Was A Son Of A Buccaneer: Rich Kidd

I Work with Diamonds by Jules Sparkle

I Wuz Framed!: Gil Tee

I Wuz Robbed!: Alma Money

If I Invited Him... by Woody Kum

If Tomorrow Never Comes by Stew Layt

I'm an Atheist: Noel Noheaven

I'm Fine by Howard Yu

I'm Gods Gift to Women by P. Rick

I'm Scared!: Emma Fraid

I'm Someone Else by Ima Nonymous

Imitating Mozart: Sam Phony

In Farmer MacGregor's Garden: Peter Abbott

In the Arctic Ocean by Isa Berg

In The Trenches: Helmut Wearer

Indian/Italian Cuisine: Ravi Oley

Indiana Jones' Adventures: Darrin Rescue

Inflammation, Please by Arthur Itis

Interior Decorating: Curt Enrod

Irish Dentistry: Perry O'Dontal

Irish First Aid: R.U. O'Kaye

Irish Flooring by Lynn O'Leum

Is O. J. Guilty? by Howard I. Know

It Won't Work!: Mel Function

Italian Cooking: Mac Aroni

Italian Delicacies: Liz Onya

It's a Holdup! by Nick R. Elastic

It's a Shocker by Alec Tricity

It's All In Your Head: Madge Ination

It's Magic! by Sven Gali

It's Springtime! by Theresa Green

It's Unfair! by Y. Me

Jewish Holidays: Hannah Kuhh

Jewish Mysticism: Lev Itation

Joe Wins at a Track Meet: C. Howie Runns

Judging Fast Food by Hamilton Berger

Just Say No: Will Power

Kangaroo Illnesses by Marcus Wallaby, M.D.

Keep 'Em That Way: Private Parts

Keep it Clean! by Armand Hammer

Keep Out!: Barb Dwyer

Keeping Old Furniture Looking Good: Ann Teak

Kindergarten Kop II: Bea Hayve

Laid Off!: Gwen Home

Land Ahoy by I.C. Fields

Laughing In The White House: Polly Tickle

Lawn Care: Ray King

Lawyers of Suffering by Grin and Barrett

Lazy Employees: Hans Doolittle

Leo Tolstoy by Warren Peace

Let's Do it Now! by Igor Beaver

Lewis Carroll by Alison Wonderland

Life As A Comic: Stan Dupp

Life Before Cars: Orson Buggy

Life in Chicago by Wendy City

Life In The Sorority House: Carrie Onn

Life Six Feet Under: Doug Graves

Little Bitty Froggies: Tad Pole

Long Walk: Miss D. Bus

Long Way Down: Rip Cord Broke

Look Younger by Fay Slift

Los Angeles Pachyderms by L.A. Funt

Lots of Excitement by Hugh N. Cry

Lotsa Luck: Bess Twishes

Making Explosives: Stan Wellback

Many Are Cold, But Few Are Frozen: Minnie Sota

Mardi Gras Time: Lou Isiana

Maritime Disasters by Andrea Doria

Maritime Rules: Paula See

May Flowers by April Showers

Meals On Safari: Lionel Eecha

Meat Eaters: Carney Vore

Mensa Man by Gene Yuss

Mexican Revenge by Monty Zuma

Mexican/Italian Food: Pepe Roney

Military Defeats by Major Disaster and General Mayhem

Military Fast: Colonel O'Corn

Military Rule by Marshall Law

Mineralogy for Giants by Chris Tall

Misunderstood: Art Tistic

Mobile Homes: Winnie Bago

Modern Giants by Hugh Mungous

Modern Tree Watches by Anna Log

Money Management: Owen Cash

Monkey Shines by Bob Boone

Moon Phases by Seymour Butts

More for Your Money by Max Amize

Mosquito Bites by Ivan Itch

Mountain Climbing by Andover Hand

Musical Gunfighters by The Okay Chorale

My Career As A Clown: Abe Ozo

My Life in the Gutter by Yves Trough

My Life With Annette: Amos Kateer

My Lost Causes by Noah Veil

My Seventh Husband: Ivana Newhouse

Mystery in the Barnyard: Hu Flung Dung

Neat Shirts: Preston Ironed

Neither a Borrower: Nora Lender Bee

New Mexico Tour Book: Albie Kerky

NHL Hockey: Stanley Kupp

Nice Hotels: Mary Ott

No More Circuit Breakers! by Ira Fuse

No! by Kurt Reply

Nobel Prize Cannibals: Laurie Ate

Noise is Forbidden! by Nada Loud

Nordic Groundskeepers: Leif Raker

Not a Guitar!: Amanda Lin

Not Bogged Down In Reality: Jason Rainbows

Not So Hot: Luke Warm

Nuclear Explosives: Adam Baum

Nuclear Power Bafflement: Ken Fusion

Nuts about You!: Cy Cosis

Off To Market by Tobias A. Pigg

Oh What A Relief It Is: Al Kaseltzer

Okee Dokee: Roger Wilco

One Hundred Years Old: Abbie Birthday

Options Trading: June Gold

Outdoor Activities by Alf Resco

Outdoor Cookery: Barbie Cue

Outer Space by A. Leanne

Overcoming Nervousness On Radio: Mike Fright

Overweight Vegetables by O. Beets

Pain in My Body by Otis Leghurts

Pain Relief by Ann L. Gesick

Parachuting by Hugo First

Party On, Dude: Jill Out

Peeping Tom: Sawyer Scanties

Pentagon Press Release: Colonel O'Truth and Lotta Lies

Personal Best: Marco DeStinction

Perverted Mushrooms by M. Morel

Pilgrim Settlers: May Flower

Playing with the Christmas Fire: Yule B. Sari

Plumb Good: Dwayne Pipe

Positive Reinforcement: Wade Ago

Prayers For Children: Cindy Skool

Prepare To Meet Your Maker: Eva DeStruction

Preparing Leather: Tanya Hyde

Pressure Relief: Korsetsov

Prevent Drowning: Buddy System

Pull with All You've Got! by Eve Ho

Pull Yourself Together!: Annette Curtain

Punk Rock Rulez!: Lotta Noyze

Put'er There, Pal!: Greg Garious

Quips For The Young At Heart: Marty Pants

Racketeering by Dennis Court

Raising Flowers By Hand: Flo Wrist

Rangers In The Night: Forrest Fyar

Rapunzel, Rapunzel!: Harris Long

Ready...Set...: Sadie Word

Red Vegetables by B. Troot

Rich People: Belle Yenere

Robots by Anne Droid

Round the World: Madge Ellen

Rules For Living: Sharon Sharalike

Russian Tennis Shoes: Ivan Odor

Rusty Bed Springs by I.P. Nightly

Sandpapers of the West: Tex Ture

Say The Magic Word: Abby Cadabra

Scandinavian Photography: Matt Finnish

Scottish Kilt Patterns: Glen Pladd

Scuffed Floors: Mark Tupp

Sea Birds by Al Batross

Season Tickets: Oprah Maven

Severed Joints by Arm Less

Shaky Knees: Cliff Diver

Shhh!: Danielle Soloud

Shoes For Farm And Ranch: Claude Hopper

Silly Rabbit: Trixie R. Forkids

Singin' and Shakin': Oprah Tic Tenor

Skunks in the Shrubbery: P. Yew

Slept Right Throught It by R.E. Classes

Sliding Down a Banister by Dick Burns

Small Treasures in the Toilet Bowl by I.P. Nickels

Small Vegetables: Russell Sprout

Smart Beer Making by Bud Wiser

Smash His Lobster! by Buster Crabbe

Smoker's Cough: Nick O'Teen

Snakes of the World by Anna Conda

Snorting My Way To Heaven: Angel Dust

Soak Your Ex-Husband by Ali Money

Soda Pop History: Ginger Aile

Sofa so Good by Chester Field

Solving Crimes: D. Tective

Some Like It Hot: Red Pepper

Some Like It Sweet: Sugar Kane

Somethings Out There by Will B. Watchinu

Songs For Children: Barbara Blacksheep

Sound as a Bell: A.C. Langer

Southern California Waffles: Sandy Eggo

Split Personalities: Jacqueline Hyde

Spots on the Wall by Who Flung Poo

Star Spangled Barrio: Jose Canusee

Still Looking For My Heart: Sam Francisco

Stop Arguing by Xavier Breath

String Instruments by Viola Player

Strong Winds: Gail Force

Stunned Over Christmas: Holly Daze

Surprised! by Omar Gosh

Swedish Perfumeries: Ole Factory

Swimming in the Arctic: I. C. Waters

Take a Break!: Colin Sick

Take This Job And Shove It: Ike Witt

Teach Me! by I. Wanda Know

Tear Up Those Betting Slips: Lou Zerr

Teenagers Of The '50's: Bobbie Sox

The Auto Salvage Business: Rex Toad

The Beach Bully: Harry Ayp

The Big Wave: Sue Nami

The Bird Collection: Arnie Thologie

The Bog: Pete Maas

The Candy Store: Pepper Mintz

The Cat's Revenge by Claude Bottom

The Chuck Berry Story: Judy Frudy

The Complete Proctologists Handbook by Ben Dover

The Criminals Of Watergate: Barton Mee

The Dead Of Winter: Jan Yuary

The Economy is Recovering!: Knott Quite

The Effects of Alcohol by Sir Osis of Liver

The Empath: Ophelia Sadness

The End of the World by Armageddin Outtahere

The Excitement of Trees by I. M. Board

The Fall of a Watermelon by S. Platt

The Fortuneteller: Reid Palms

The French Chef by Sue Flay

The Frozen South: A. Winterbottom

The Garden State: Ida Hoe

The German Bank Robbery: Hans Zupp

The Good Breakfast: Hammond Deggs

The Greasy Spoon: Chris Coe

The Great Escape by Freida Convict

The Great Flood: Noah Zark

The Ham Radio Primer: Loudon Clear

The Hidden Surprise: Pam Perz

The History Of Exxon: Phil Errup

The History of Fox TV: Annette Work

The Hitchhiker: Juan Nalift

The Housing Problem by Rufus Quick

The Industrial Revolution by Otto Mattick

The Irish Heart Surgeon: Angie O'Plasty

The LA Lakers' Breakfast: Kareem O'Wheat

The Lady Pirate: Peg Legg

The Last Roundup: Brandon Irons

The Lion Attacked by Claudia Armoff

The Miracle Drug: Penny Cillin

The Monkey Cage: Jim Panzee

The Music Of Sammy Davis Jr.: Candy Mann

The National Science Foundation: Grant Money

The Nude Beach by Seymour Hair

The Palace Roof has a Hole by Lee King

The Paper Route: Avery Daye

The Peace Mission: Olive Branch

The Perils Of Drug Addiction: Anita Fixx

The Phillipine Post Office: Imelda Letter

The Porn Queen: Mona Lott

The Scent of a Man by Jim Nasium

The Senior Prom: Spike Drink

The Shrinking Society: Les Ismoor

The Smorgasbord: Buffy Dinner

The Spiritual Life: Ned Itation

The Squeaking Gate: Rusty Hinges

The Sweat Shop: Hiram Cheap

The Telltale Heart: Stefi Scope

The Truancy Problem: Marcus Absent

The TV News Anchorman: Maury Ports

The Twelfth Month: Dee Sember

The Unknown Rodent by A. Nonny Mouse

The World's Best Recipes: Gus Tatorial

The World's Deadliest Joke: Theophilus Punoval

Theft and Robbery by Andy Tover

Things to Cook Meat In by Stu Potts

Things To Do At Parties: Bob Frapples

Those Funny Dogs by Joe Kur

Tigger's revenge by Claude Balls

Tight Situation by Leah Tard

Tighten That butt! by A. Nail Retentive

Tinseltown Tales: Holly Wood

To Be Honest: Frank Lee

Too Rough: Soren Redd

Trails in the Sand by Peter Dragon

Trial Law: Tess Temoni

Trim Those Sideburns Too?: Buzz Cutt

Tug of War by Paul Hard

Turkish Minerals: Asa Miner

Turtle Racing by Eubie Quick

Two Thousand Pounds! by Juan Ton

Tyrant of the Potatoes by Dick Tater

Uncomfortable Feelings by Jock Strap

Under the Bleachers by Seymour Butts

Unemployed by Anita Job

Uninteresting Road Signs: Bill Bored

Unsolved Mysteries by N. Igma

Vegas Divorces: Marion Hayste

Vegetable Arrangements: Arty Choke

Volunteer's Guidebook: Linda Hand

Waiting in Line for the Bathroom by Ivana Tinkle

Waste Dumps by I. Saw

We Take Credit Cards, But...: Cassius Better

We Won 20-1!: Barry Um

Webster's Words by Dick Shunnary

Weekend In Hong Kong: Rick Shaw

Weepy Movie: Maud Lynn Story

We're All Flakes: Dan Druff

West Coast Universities: Stan Ford

What I Took: Irv Erginity

What Makes a Good Thief by Ian Yerhous

What Makes Airplanes Go: Jeff Fuel

Whatchamacallit! by Thingum Bob

What's For Dinner?: Chuck Roast

What's Your Invention?: Pat Tent

When's The Revolution?: Millie Tant

Where to Find Islands by Archie Pelago

Where to Put Your Money: Bill Fold

Where's the Toilet by Ivona Tinkle

Who Killed **** Robin? by Howard I. Know

Why Cars Stop by M. T. Tank

Wind In The Maple Trees: Russell Ingleaves

Wind Instruments by Tom Bone

Winning the Race by Vic Tree

Wish I'd Never Been Born: Rudy Daye

Without Warning by Oliver Sudden

Women Rule by Iam Write.

Woulda Been A Great Shortstop: Kent Hitt

Wouldn't You Know It: Murphy Slaw

Yellow River by I. P. Freely

Yoko's Robe: Kim Ono

You Drip!: Lee K. Fawcette

You Wash, I'll Dry: Terry Cloth

You're a Bundle of Laughs by Vera Funny

You're Kidding! by Shirley U. Jest

You're So Sweet: Mable Syrup